7 Classic Dating Deal Breakers You Should Be Aware Of
Smokers — I once had a boyfriend who’d take himself outside in all kinds of weather for a smoke. He’d stand outside my garage door and puff away, then he’d come in and wash his face before getting near me. Pets — If you have a beloved Levi in your life like I do, then you’ll want a man who’ll treasure your puppy or kitten as much as you do. Now, let’s take a moment and talk about some common Deal Breakers worth thinking about.
They don’t value your opinion.
Though your may share your life with this person, you are still an individual and are allowed to have a say in how your life goes. A partner should listen to you, hear you, take your views into consideration, and find ways to compromise with you so that you both feel happy. Speak to a certified and experienced relationship coach to help you figure out what your specific deal breakers are.
A healthy relationship is nourished by your dependability on your partner to be reasonably accessible, supportive, and present in the relationship. It is a huge warning sign if you can’t trust your partner and can cause future strife and resentment in your relationship. If you have a clingy partner, it vastly limits your availability to engage in activities within your own social circle or to find personal alone time. It can also add feelings of pressure, responsibility, and expectations to entertain and be the sole person for your partner. Always having a partner in need is exhausting and is one most common undesirable personality traits to have in a partner. “Be available,” suggests New York psychotherapist Thompson to all the men out there who don’t want to be written off by women who don’t want to date players.
Remember, if a healthy long-term relationship is what you really desire in your life, then you’ll want to choose a man who doesn’t have the Deal Breakers you’ve put on your list. In fact, they would rather be told directly when we want or need something instead of being forced to guess. Guys would rather be given the chance to apologize for whatever they’ve done wrong than try to determine the cause of our rapid mood swings. If we’re not giving our SO that opportunity, it could be a deal-breaker. Being overly dramatic in a relationship is a huge deal-breaker for a lot of men .
We were lying on the bed, and I turned and looked at my now husband, and said “look, you’ve done things in your life that I want to do”. That opened up a conversation about what we wanted for our lives, as individuals and where we saw this relationship going. “I knew that if I married him, then kids were out of the question,” she told me after he proposed. They love to give gifts and spend money on their loved ones. Leo’s love language is gift-giving, so if Leo’s partner is constantly stiffing the waiter on a tip, or is overly frugal or cheap, that’s not going to fly.
Take Good Care of Yourself
On the other hand, if they do nothing but worry about their tan and the state of their body hair, it’s a sign that they’re shallow. There’s more to life than fake nails and perfect hair. If they don’t make any attempt to get help in a reasonable amount of time, you don’t have to stay with them out of a sense of responsibility or for any other reason if you don’t want to. If you find yourself being steamrollered into giving in, it might be time to break free. You simply won’t be able to enjoy your life when you have your sovereignty taken away from you. If their priority is their own pleasure and happiness in all areas of life, that’s a huge warning sign.
It’s also exhausting if there’s too much drama in her life, whether it’s from family members or an ex, according to Bennett. It can be tempting to stay with someone who is struggling with addiction. While a partner’s support can help people overcome addiction, if it’s affecting you and they aren’t seeking assistance, it may be time to go, according to Ho. Abuse of any kind is a deal breaker in any relationship.
The rise of divorce among “silver splitters” means there are more single older men – and there might be more great guys out there than you might expect at first glance, especially if you give them a chance. Remember, they didn’t sign up for divorced parents, two separate homes or new adults coming into their lives. As a child of divorce myself, I can say it is HARD to adjust. REALLY HARD. Especially when the woman your dad is dating doesn’t consider your point of view.
You Don’t Connect Physically
“It’s amazing to see how many people agree to date a smoker with the hopes of getting them to quit,” notes Concepcion. “They tolerate bad breath and second-hand smoke just to be in a relationship. It’s a waste of time, bad for your health, and starts the relationship off with the need for someone to break a habit.
It breaks the trust in a relationship in a major way, and it plants a seed that often never disappears — will he cheat again? It just introduces a toxic element Zoosk to the relationship that is definitely a deal breaker. A woman makes the choice to allow her friends to be overbearing, says single New Yorker, William.
If you feel you are unable to do it alone, reach out to a friend, family member, or professional for help. If you are experiencing any abuse and feel unable to safely remove yourself from the relationship, please outreach your local domestic violence hotline for support and safety. Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges. Happy and healthy relationships require a great deal of trust to function, because they put us in a position of such vulnerability. That’s why dishonesty is easily the number one deal-breaker for men, in dating and relationships.
Conflicting Morals or Values
And with our age group leading the pack with the highest divorce rate of any generation these days, there is actually an abundance of men out there for you to date. They’re afraid no one out there is as good as this man — a man who has one of their Deal Breakers going on in his life. In his mind, she has a Deal Breaker that isn’t suitable for marriage. We use them for everything, so ghosting him or failing to respond for extended periods of time is considered unacceptable.
Someone who is not bothered about their personal hygiene or appearance cannot take care of others. If basic levels of cleanliness or presentation are amiss, it only means they do not have self-value. So when considering if a hang-up is truly a deal breaker, Dennis suggests asking yourself if this is a barrier keeping you from moving forward. Is it something you know you can’t get past in order to develop a meaningful, rewarding relationship with this person?